On the eve of Christmas, emotions are running high.
I woke up and sat with my coffee and I began to cry.
This year there was no discussion, no giggles at your plea
for our daughter to spend Christmas with you, rather than here with me.
She lays beside me sleeping and I wonder if she dreams
of years gone by at Christmas with you smiling in every scene.
Is it selfish of me to want you here when I know you're no longer in pain. When I feel you are in a better place now and we will one day meet again.
Is it selfish of me to need you, when I know you cannot come and I know you'll be up there wishing good things for the kids me and your mum. Is it selfish of me to keep crying and resent those who don't understand, that you were more than the father of my daughter you were one of my dearest friends.
You always tried your best to understand me, to ask questions before you'd judge and you promised me always to offer, your unconditional love. You took on my son like he was your own from the very start, you put my needs before your own and gave to us all your heart.
Christmas is a time for family and I'm struggling to say the least but I'll do my best to make it special as I know you'll be proud of me. As you sit in heaven with the angels, remember to send us a sign that you're having a merry Christmas and laughing all the time.