Friday, 5 October 2012

Sibling Rivalry

Having more than one child is always a challenge, as you plan how you will deal with sibling rivalry and managing your time and resources so that neither feels left out.  You're full of questions like how will I get them to share?  Will I sleep them in the same room or separately?  Which playgroups can you attend with both children?  But for me it was a little different.  There are 11 years between my first and second child.  I had planned to be in a loving and stable relationship before adding to my family, hence the long wait, but God had other plans that didn't involve anything stable.  

Therefore here I am with a pre-teen who has me on tenterhooks waiting for when her hormones will turn her into a raving lunatic (secretly hoping we will skip that stage) and a toddler who is wise beyond his years and extremely demanding.  I did everything possible to include the pre-teen in my pregnancy and planning for his arrival so the first year went by with hardly any problems.

My lovely Prince however is now at the stage where he thinks he owns me and is both vocal and physical in his demonstration of this (pushing his sister and telling her to go away) and the princess despite all my efforts is feeling a little left out... and astonishingly not by me but by him!  A few nights ago just before bed she said "mum Daniel doesn't like me" to which I replied, "don't be silly he loves you"   she then responded by saying "yes I know he loves me but that doesn't mean he likes me, he never wants to come to me anymore, he only uses me when you are not here and he's always pushing me away."  I must admit that though I'm usually pretty quick at responding to my ever so quizzical pre-teen this one took me a little longer to think about but I came up with an explanation of sorts that I think she understood.

I need not have worried too much because as though Daniel had been listening to our conversation and had taken in his sisters words in his sleep the very next day when he heard the door opening on her return from school he ran into her arms shouting 'tee tee' (her name is Tianna).  The smile on her face was priceless,  at least now I think she knows her brother likes her.  We both have our fingers crossed that this stage of pushing her away from mummy ends very quickly and his excitement at playing with her and his toys (you'd think I bought them as extra bits of furniture to sit and look pretty the amount of attention he pays to them) returns.

It would be interesting to know some of the sibling issues others have had and how you have gone about solving them...

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