Sunday, 26 August 2018

All Men Are...

This is probably a really bad thing and I shouldn't taint all of the male species with the same brush but...
Are all men just absolutely unreliable?  I mean my grand father was probably the most reliable man I know and I won't have a bad word said about him, but as far as the other men in my life go most would score between 0-3 out of 100 on the reliability scale.

Take this weekend for example 3 of my male friends had said they would be coming to visit.  

Friend 1: I can sort of excuse this one, sort of.  He was travelling home today so had very limited time and the fact that he had only met his girlfriend 2 weeks ago and was now leaving the country means he should definitely have spent as much of the time left in the country with her.  Why I say sort of is because I didn't ask him to come and visit me, he told me he would be coming to visit and I would have liked him to take something home for my mum.  Did he call, no, did he send a message, again, no.  Common courtesy dictates that if you make arrangements and you can't meet with those arrangements at least let a sister know.  That being said he's still my homie.

Friend 2:  This one has absolutely no excuse, unless he's ended up in hospital yet again (just checked, he hasn't).  He's someone that I've known for a good 14 years and again someone that obviously has either lost the use of his hands, his voice or is just plain rude.

Friend 3:  The ex, this one has absolutely no reason to stick to any arrangements made, apart from the fact that he shattered my heart into a million pieces but will still look me square in the eye and tell me he loves me.  I probably made that sound worse than it is, he didn't cheat or lie or any of the usual BS, he just needs to work on his demons and that I can fully understand, we all have things we need to work on.  At least he made an active effort to send me a message with his apologies, not that he replied to my response but that's another story.

Thankfully I didn't rely on any of them to show or I would have had the most boring of weekends.  Instead I invited my FEMALE best friend over.  Not only did she come with her son to keep little man occupied but she also came bearing the gifts of alcohol and business inspiration, got to love an entrepreneur.
She never smiles in pictures and will probably kill me for stealing her photo

So what have I learnt from all this?  I've finally realised that people will only treat you a certain way if you accept it, so I'm done accepting it.  From this day forward, I pledge to live an amazing life doing me with a few reliable buddies.

Phoning a friend

Thursday, 23 August 2018

September Approaching

September is fast approaching, as is the start of the new school year and for me a new start in a new school. For us as a family however it also marks another year without D and a year since T was ill.

Tianna and I had a conversation the other day, I told her how proud I was of the journey she has been through these past 3 years, so much has happened yet it still only feels like yesterday. My first birthday after he died and our first Christmas is all a blur, I don't know how we got through it but what I do know is that we did it together.

In that same conversation I told Tianna how strong she is, how brave, how talented and how loved. I expected a simple thanks mum (that's about as much as you usually get out of teenagers) but she responded by telling me how proud she was of me and of us as a family, she reminded me that she didn't have to miss me when she was in Kent because I drove up there everyday but 1 and she reminded me that everything she's been through in the last 3 years has been made easier through the support of myself and her little family .

I'm so proud of the daughter we; (Darrell, my mum, Sonia and myself) raised, when the nurses sent her home they were sad to see her go, they said she was the most polite and respectful girl they had ever met. They told me that I did a wonderful job raising her and the truth is, I did. However, she also did a wonderful job at maturing me, she let me know that it is ok to get things wrong sometimes, it is ok to get angry sometimes, it is ok to love with all of you and it is also ok to cry when you get hurt.

I don't know what tomorrow might bring but I know that whether joy or sadness my load will be made lighter through the love of my little family.

She cut half her face off on purpose, It's a teenage girl thing :-|

When was the last time you told someone you love how proud you are of their journey?