My friends decided to treat me to a meal at one of my favourite restaurants and (under the influence of only one alcoholic beverage) I was able to talk about everything without crying. My friends, one of whom I don't see nearly as much as I'd like sat with me and listened without judgement. They shared with me their own stories and advised me from the heart. Although some of the advice was hard to hear I was more than willing to listen.
We spoke about all the taboo subjects, religion, sex, death, and mental health, all the things that are usually kept away from the dinner table and at the end of the conversation we sang, we laughed, we sang some more then we prayed.
I'm still not where I want to be, I still have unanswered questions and emotional scaring but I'm on the way and I know that if I ask for help, help will come find me at my place of need.