I did intend to write a post about my lack of Christmas cheer and how the approach of Christmas for me this year just means disappointed children, an empty house and a longing to be anywhere else but here. Instead I've decided to try and focus my energy on the positives.
Positive number 1, I'm alive. I have a real issue with the thought of death which a lot of the time causes me sleepless nights (I know I'm weird) I don't know if it has anything to do with losing a daughter but it's just something that bothers me, so the fact that I'm alive makes me extremely happy because it means I can enjoy positive number 2, my children.
I love everything about having my two babies, from watching them learn, grow and play to watching them sulk at bedtime or moan at having to do housework, ok the last point I don't love so much but you get the drift. I often think about what my life would look like without them and have to admit that it would look pretty awesome but for some strange reason, perhaps insanity, if I were to rewind time I would still choose to have them exactly when I did.
Positive 3, I am able to work. I am lucky enough to be healthy and have the ability to work, as much as I sometimes moan or complain about having to go to work, I know some people who are not able to work for various reasons and would never trade places with them. I love the opportunity I have to teach and to learn and to be a positive influence on the lives of others.
Positive 4, I have no regrets. I've made lots of weird and random decisions in my lifetime... some may call them mistakes but when I think about each one of them they have lead to a positive consequence, be that immediate or eventual. It also means that I've taken chances, and without taking chances life would be pretty boring.