Monday, 20 January 2014

Back To Work, blues, reds and yellows :)

It's only 4.30 in the afternoon and I'm already feeling like I could go to sleep curl up in a ball and stay there until sometime tomorrow afternoon.  

Going back to work has been great but exhausting.  I now have two part time jobs, two children and a social enterprise.  My poor blog has suffered a little as I haven't had as much time on my hands.  I had intended to ease myself back into the working world but I'm one of those types of people that when opportunity knocks I have to open the door and at least take a peak.



The great thing about my second job is that Little man is able to come with me, we still get to go to the park, paint, make things and explore, the only difference is he has to share me with a few other children, which he doesn't seem to mind at all.  For him the biggest transition is the 2 days spent at nursery away from me.  

There hasn't yet been a morning when I've woken him up and he hasn't cried saying, "I don't want to go to nursery."  It breaks my heart every time I leave him and he's now got a bit of a separation anxiety thing going on.  Anyone who comes to visit him at home has to set up residence because he wont let them go.  He literally holds on until I have to pull him away.  As hard as it might be to leave him, when I arrive at work I'm greeted by lovely colleagues, a class full of characters and am so engrossed in my work that the time flies and .

In other news, being at work has meant that I've so far managed to stick to my plans of not spending any money on clothing for the year but I have a terrible case of online dream shopping, I need saving from myself!!

Saturday, 11 January 2014

Is this it?

Is this it?

Rubbing tired eyes, boy on hip
is this it? Is. this. it.
tears before nightfall, my shoulder wet
is this it? Is. this. it.
Awake walking, asleep talking
is this it? Is. this. it.
To work, to teach, to learn, to smile
is this it? Is. this. it.
Home safe warm, girl a story shares
is this it? Is. this. it.
Loved, fulfilled yet unfulfilled
is this it? Is. this. it.
voice screaming in head
IS THIS IT?
What's the point?
What's the point?
To dream, to create to LIVE to die.
Is this it?

Poem inspired by a Natalie Babbitt quote, "Don't be afraid of death; be afraid of an unlived life. You don't have to live forever, you just have to live."

Monday, 6 January 2014

Did He Really Just Say That? (Evander Holyfield causes a stir on Big Brother)

Anyone who's been watching Celebrity Big Brother could not have watched it without noticing two things; firstly the size of Dappy's  Penis (I know some of you out there looked up the photos,) and secondly Evander Holyfields 'shocking' homophobic views.  

Expressing his homophobic views in a conversation with fellow housemate Luisa Zissman


I use the term shocking very loosely.  Is it really such a shock that a section of the population still hold the view that homosexuality is wrong?  A 2013 YouGov survey showed that 37% of Britons opposed same-sex marriage and surveys in the US show figures vary with the highest opposition being around 47%.

For many years of my life I carried the same views as Evander.  Having been brought up in a christian household 'normal' love was that found between a man and a woman, anything else was seen as dirty, especially a man with another man.  Though my parents taught me to live and let live they were very clear that homosexuality although tolerated for other people would never be something accepted in our household.

I was very open about my thoughts, I told my homosexual lecturer that I didn't agree with same sex relationships as they were, "not of God."  I would not go as far as refusing to teach about same-sex relationships but I would express that it was the view of 'some people' that same-sex relationships were wrong but everyone has the right to choice.

So what happened to change my way of thinking?  I met a young vulnerable person who was growing up forced to live as someone he was not.  My love and compassion for that person allowed me to see thorough my own prejudice and taught me that homosexuality wasn't a choice.  Forcing someone to live a lie was not a way of 'fixing' them, it was a way of making them hide within themselves and become trapped.  When you are trapped you look for ways of escape ways that sometimes drive you into a world of alcohol, drug abuse or even suicide.

That doesn't mean that I will be flying a multi-coloured flag and I still prefer not to watch same-sex relationships played out on the television screen but I now understand that being homosexual is not dirty, it's not a choice and it is not something that can be 'fixed'. 

Wednesday, 1 January 2014

Happy 2014 Everyone!

Happy New Year to all my readers, friends and family.  I hope that you saw in the new year with people you love and had a fabulous time doing so.  I can happily say I had both my children with me, one happily sleeping through the sounds of the fireworks on TV and the other, being at that age where she'd much rather be in the company of friends, commenting on what an ugly start to the new year it was.  Nevertheless I was happy to start my new year in my home with my children and my mother, three of the people I love most in the world and unlike last year I didn't run out of the house as soon as the clocks struck 12.

My new years resolution this year is exactly the same as last year, I'm not bothering to make any.  Instead I do have a few plans, which are somewhat different to me in theory as nobody ever 'really' sticks to their New Years Resolutions.  One of those plans involve doing a Sam Carisle and not buying any new clothes for a year, or at least not any new clothes for myself, the children will of course need new clothes every second as children do!  Unlike Sam I haven't chosen to do this because I have too many outfits, in fact I really could do with a new pair of jeans and a couple of jumpers.  This for me is really a bid to save myself some money.  So if you're struggling to think of a valentines gift, Easter alternative to chocolate or a birthday present for me you know what to buy!

Not this one I have it already and made them give me 40% off because their labels were wrong :)

Other than torturing myself by not shopping for new clothing (place your bets on how long I'll last) I also plan to make a real effort to get out more with my friends without breaking the bank and to do more fun things with the children, any suggestions are welcome.  As well as that I will have to try and help teen princess with her studies, so this year for our little family will be all about focus and fun.

What do you hope your year will be about?
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