Monday, 29 April 2013

Seeds of Change

There are certain situations in life that really show you how much you have grown and changed and today after a day packed with laughter in the company of the big sis, I had one of those moments.  

I've been without my phone for nearly 4 weeks now and went into the EE shop in the Whitgift Centre with the hopes that it would be back.  Unfortunately for me I had to deal with the store manager.  

I didn't have the piece of paper they 'apparently' gave me when I dropped my phone in for repair, therefore he didn't want to check to see if the phone was in the store, as he said it would be, "a waste of his time."  Though I'm sure serving costumers forms part of the job description he signed up for.  In the past I would have ended up in a full blown argument with the 'manager' but instead I kept my calm and saved the teen the embarrassment of having to watch her mother argue in front of a room full of strangers.  

I still didn't find out if my phone was in the store but I did get the number to call, which would save me going into store again until necessary. 

It's great when you can notice a change in yourself for the better, and as calm as I might be, I have always had a fiery temper.  

It seems though that I am not the only person who has noticed a change.  A friend who I've know since the age of about 15 sent me a series of facebook inbox messages that were so touching they brought me to tears the first of which said, 

"Reading about how ur gonna deal with ur sons father situation is very warming to the soul.  You have come a long way and I only wish I could achieve half of what u have.  Life has its way of punishment even when u try so hard, I think I need to try some more."

I won't go into details of who this friend is, and will not post the other messages on what situation he is going through, but what I will say is that it is always easier to see the achievements of another and under value your own achievements.  Any man who states that his daughter is his first love gets big ratings in my book.  

There are a lot of men and women out there who don't understand what it really means to love your children.  Though we label them 'our' children, they are not possessions to fight over or use for manipulative gains, we have care of them and as such their best interests should be our intention.  When we put them first the rest will come naturally or at least will come in time with the efforts we put in.  Parenting involves learning to do the best for the innocent children in our care.  It may not always be easy, but it comes with the greatest reward, 'True Love'. 

Wednesday, 24 April 2013

'The Daddy Phase'

The sunshine has finally come out and appears to be staying.  I don't know what it is about the approach of summer that makes me feel more joyful but whatever it is I'm embracing that joyful feeling and taking it with me.  It's been a busy winter and I know that summer is going to bring many challenges but I'm ready to face them with confidence and determination.

Daniel is now going through the first 'daddy phase', since the teen princess mentioned she was going to see her daddy.  Whilst we were sitting in the living room playing he all of a sudden got up and said "bye mummy, going see daddy."  My immediate reaction was to laugh, it may have been his way of telling me he was bored and wanted to do something different, but it shocked me a little.  

Since then he has taken to calling my brother-in-law daddy which doesn't bother my in-law but makes me cringe slightly.  Since my son was born one of my internal struggles has been, what do I tell him when he is old enough to ask about his dad.  It took a lot of thinking about and a lot of consulting with friends and family but I finally came to the conclusion that the best thing to tell him is the truth.  It's going to upset him no matter what I tell him so at least if I tell him the truth he can trust me to always be upfront with him.

A childhood friend said to me recently, "Men and women both need to learn that if you can't see a person as being a potential parent to your child don't have sex with them, it's as simple as that because no matter what precautions you take, shit happens."  I have always agreed with this which is why absent or not I have no regrets but it was strange hearing that opinion from a man.  The fact is Siad was not at the time mature enough to deal with the responsibility of more than one child.  I don't think it makes him a bad person, just an irresponsible one with a lack of courage to face up to all of his responsibilities, which is exactly what I will tell our son when the time comes.

He may not have all the material things but as far as love goes little man has that in abundance. I could spend a lot of time hating but that would turn me into someone I wouldn't like to be.  So I spend my time appreciating all the blessings that I do have and reminding myself that there is no greater power than the power of love.

Friday, 12 April 2013

Pee Stains and Lipstick

My children are changing so much and so quickly.  People are always reminding you to, "treasure every moment because they grow up so fast." 
Somewhere between cleaning up the third 'accident' of the morning from potty training, sweeping up the sherds from your favorite mug that the toddler has managed to get hold of, and telling the teen to wash the bright red lipstick from her mouth before she leaves the house, you tend to forget to treasure the moments.

All made up for cheerleading

The relationship between the teen princess and her brother has become even more beautiful to watch as he grows.  He is no longer the crying baby that disturbs her when she's busy making her home videos, she now calls him to join in on them!  

She loves to jump in to the rescue just after he's been told off with a big cuddle and fingers pointing at a 'naughty mummy'.  I can tell that not long from now I will have a son that is very good at getting his sister to get him out of trouble :)

Daniel's language is continuing to develop very well and he will not hesitate to tell you when he see's a pretty girl, as was the case when we went shopping in Westfields the other day.  We stopped for a bite to eat and he climbed onto the table to talk to a baby girl who was sitting opposite.  He's showing that when he knows what he want's he'll go for it :)


The teen is talking about starting her GCSE program next year and the toddler has pretty much learnt his alphabet and if you catch him in a good mood he may count with you up to 20.  

They really are growing up quickly and regardless of the fact that raising them alone has not been easy, I'm so proud of the little people they are becoming and love the more with every passing second.

As for me I've been busy, busy, busy.  Women Know Your Worth held another workshop and we got some really positive feedback and requests for subjects to cover in future workshops.  Our website is being set up (all by ourselves I might add) and we are working on a book project.  Life is pretty good right now, all I'm waiting on is a little bit of sunshine so I will be more enthused to get out and about.

It's not always easy to treasure the moments but my promise to myself and my children is that I will try.