Tuesday, 22 January 2013

Afro Love

This post is all about hair!  There are so many natural hair blogs that I'm often left feeling a little overwhelmed but what I've come to realise since doing the big chop is that in essence they are all saying the same thing hair like mine needs water, conditioner and oils with the occasional snipping of damaged ends.  

Since I've worked out what works well for me I've had no problem maintaining natural healthy hair and it seems to be growing nicely.  I use a mixture of raw Shea butter and Keracare natural oils daily and I ALWAYS put my ends away be it in plaits or twists and wrap with a silk scarf for bed. At the moment because my hair is in the in-between stage I like to wear an Afro.  I occasionally use a bit of Eco Styler Gel if I want to add definition, but I don't mind the fluffy texture of my hair, so this is only if I get bored.  

All this was working perfectly well until I decided that my first and only heat styling since the big chop would be done in the salon.  I had a treatment and press so that I could do a length check.  What I ended up with was a little bit of heat damage (which hopefully isn't permanent) and a very dry scalp.  Why is it that when you go to the hair dressers they have to dry you under the dryer, then blow dry then put you under the dryer again?!?  I will not be heat styling again at least until around June and hopefully by then I will have found a hairdresser who knows how to use heat without causing damage!

So tonight it will be a protein treatment and a prayer in the hope that my hair will love me for it in the morning!

My favourite hair blogs at the moment for tips and idea's on how to look after my own and my children's hair are Kinkycurlycoilyme.com, curlynikki.com and chocolatehairvanillacare.com

Saturday, 19 January 2013

I'm Only Human

I haven't written a post in a while, mainly because I've been busy planning and writing for our next Women Know Your Worth event and posting on our facebook page.  WKYW started because of a conversation my friend and I had.  We discussed how so many times in our lives in our decisions regarding relationships, careers and life in general we had sold ourselves short.  We had taken our quality product (ourselves) and lowered the asking price, not because we had gone down in value but because we had forgotten our value.  I personally had allowed one unhealthy relationship to crush my spirit and lead me not long after into another unhealthy 'relationship.'  One that was not only unhealthy for me but caused a rift in my extended family.  Sometimes one does things thinking, "It's just a bit of fun."  But every action has a consequence be it bad or good.  

Children ALWAYS ask the questions that you are not ready or willing to answer and they don't stop until they get a good enough response.  The question that I've been asked by some of the children in my extended family recently is the question most adults want to ask me but don't have the guts or the innocence to just ask, instead they beat around the bush with questions like,  "What nationality is Daniel's dad?"   "Where did you meet his dad?"    "How long were you with his dad?"  When the question they really want to know is "Who is Daniels dad?"  It's not even that I wouldn't answer the question if asked, it's just that I wont answer the question unless asked.  The fact is that was a situation in which I sold myself short, not because of the person himself, though he wasn't ideal, but more because of the secrets and overall lack of consideration for anyone else.  I had spent so much time in my long term relationship focusing on that person and not wanting to disrupt their extended family that this time the only person I wanted to please was myself.

We all have the opportunity to learn from the poor decisions we make and trust me I have learnt from mine, which is why encouraging others to know their worth through WKYW is so important to me.  It is not your mistakes that made you, it is you that made them, which means you have power over them.  You can't always change them but you can change you and that, I feel, is the most important lesson.  I'm only human I of course will continue to make mistakes but I've spent a little over 2 years on my own rebuilding the person I was before all the bad decisions and am much happier because of it.   Now that I know my worth, it will be easier to find a life partner who recognizes that worth and also knows theirs.

Tuesday, 15 January 2013

Baby Bruk it down

I looked after my nephew for a few hours the other day and taught him how to climb up the little slide that I'm looking after for a friend.  It's such a minor thing that he learnt but I can honestly say it gave me a great sense of pride to watch him learn.  It is so amazing how quickly babies turn into toddlers and every day they are learning something new.  One minute you are having to hold up their head the next they are crawling, walking and developing their character and vocabulary.

On another note continuing on from our first Women Know Your Worth event we have launched a facebook page where the idea is that we encourage and inspire each other as women (and men) who know the worth of a woman.  We will be holding our next event on 2nd February and I look forward to sharing updates with you on my blog.

Tuesday, 8 January 2013

Counting Fun

The last couple of months I have been super lazy when it comes to taking little man to the park, mostly due to the fact that I hate the winter months.  The idea of running around playing, though may be nice, is not enough to entice me out of the warmth of home.  However today was a lovely mild day and the perfect chance to take Daniel out for a ride on the trike his grandma brought him for Christmas. I didn't even have to put on my winter coat a light biker jacket from H&M (one little bargain I picked up in the sale for £10) was enough to fight off the cool air. I had thought that with the winter cold, and probably rainy spring, that he wouldn't get to use his trike until summer, thankfully I was proven wrong.

And much like everything else my two and I do this was another great opportunity for learning.  Today he reinforced his counting.  Since he was small we have counted fingers and toes, the amount of steps from upstairs to down, how many pots and pans he can take out of the cupboard.  You name it, we count it and as such Daniel has begun to start counting, not all of his numbers are in order and he often repeats the same number but sometimes when he's climbing the steps of the slide, or running away from me across the grass we get moments of great counting!

It's amazing how tiring a short trip to the park can be, after giving him his lunch he quickly drifted off to sleep giving me two much needed hours of R&R!

Thursday, 3 January 2013

New Year, New Shoes

I'm a couple of days late with this post nevertheless for those who follow the Gregorian calender I would like to wish you all a very happy new year.  I watched the countdown at home with the children and kissed them both whilst shouting happy new year in my most excited voice.  Then having been offered the baby sitting service of one of Daniel's wonderful godmothers I put on my heels and hit the town with 'the wife.'  I've probably said this same sentence about twenty times but this time I really mean it, 'I'm through with raving.'  

Don't get me wrong I had a good time, danced with the girls, danced with the guys, pocketed a number, had a couple drinks.  But it's what you see in the clubs that I find disturbing.  For example what makes a guy think that standing outside the women's toilets and giving you a death stare is at all attractive.  And ladies there really is a time when you should switch from alcohol to water.  There were some girls that you knew were going to end up at home with the stranger who's hand they'd just grabbed to stop them falling over, and they would most definitely regret it when they saw him in the cold light of day.  I've never taken home a stranger on a night out but according to some of the guys I've spoken to that's common practice, if they don't go home with a girl it wasn't really a good night out.  Then there are the men who have forgotten to wear deodorant or brush their teeth before coming out but want to dance right up close to you and start a conversation.  There is also the fact that a lot of girls put a lot of effort into getting ready for a night out only to have left their clothes at home (I have on occasion been guilty of this, skirts the size of belts syndrome).  I'm starting to sound like an old woman, which means it is time for me to hang up my raving shoes (especially because they hurt) put on a pair of flats and find some different entertainment options.

I'm not making any resolutions this year I just intend to continue to enjoy my children and my life and make the most of what I have, being grateful for my many blessings.