Bitter Sweet
I woke up this morning feeling my usual happy but exhausted
self. I played with Daniel and watched a
little daytime TV before waking up my computer to check the addresses for my eBay
deliveries.
Facebook was my next stop and I was pleasantly greeted by my
friend’s status giving us the news that he would be having a baby girl. My joy for him was so great that it brought
me to tears and only those closest to me would understand why. I had a conversation with him, it was good, the way he spoke and the joy he expressed reminded me of when I found out Tianna was a girl like a breath of fresh air after a exiting a smoke filled room.
I was determined to go into town without spending more than
bus fare and the cost to deliver the ebay items. As I walked through Croydon all I could think
was I need to get out of here, either I’m turning into a recluse or I'm just
fed up of looking at the same old buildings with the threat of bumping into the
same old faces. Reality is I probably
won’t go anywhere any time soon, but one can always live and hope.
I managed to get in and out of the town centre only spending
60p more than I’d plan – a girl needs her chocolate!
By the time I got home my mood had changed slightly, still happy but I keep going back into contemplation mode... I think I would have been ok
if he hadn’t said her name… I still find it hard to say her name.
Can’t wait for my princess to get home for
cuddles, her cuddles always make me feel better.
