Monday, 27 February 2012

Smelly Pits

Smelly Pits

Sunday started off being one of those days were I woke up not wanting to do anything.  Tianna was still at her dads and Dan and I had enough excitement the day before.  Fortunately for me Chan decided that was not the best plan.  She and Nic Nac dragged us out the house and we drove to collect ti then met up with Gem who brought along her niece and another friend.  we started off at Combe Lodge. We ended up in pizza hut. 

Pizza hut is one of those places where you always leave with a story to tell.  If it’s not the child running off and gate crashing another child’s birthday party, it’s the waiter with the smelly pits or the pizza with so much oil that it drips, or in our case all of those statements applied.  A nice time was had then it was back home to meet the little brothers new ‘friend’.  I’m assuming that this friend is a really good one as the brother doesn’t often bring girls to the house, or at least he doesn’t introduce them to me because as he told her if I didn’t like her he would know about it.  Luckily for the both of them she was a nice girl with seemingly good manners.

Today Daniel and I took a trip to see his little cuz.  It’s amazing how much children change in such a small space of time.  It’s always nice watching them crawl around the living room or in Daniel’s case the whole of downstairs!  I’m going to have to start setting boundaries for him or he’ll think he’s allowed anywhere!  It’s a good thing he’s not tall because I’m sure he’d open the front door and crawl out just to see what he can find to put in his mouth!

Tianna came up to meet us there and her and my sisters other 2 ran around upstairs like mad people, so nothing new there.  They made loads of noise, but we can't really complain, they are good children.  I watched the film ‘Back Up Plan’ with my sis she had seen it before but it was my first time, good film… might watch it again later.

Saturday, 25 February 2012

Boy Mate

Boy Mate
Spoke to my best boy mate this morning; there are times when I wish I could turn back the clock and meet him again for the first time knowing everything I know about him now.  He’s one of those people that can make you forget your troubles in a second and smile for a day :)  But he can also frustrate you to the point where you don't speak for months! I don’t have many close friends but those I do have are as valuable as family.

Me, the wife (Gen) and the mad mistress aka Eghele met up at the franchise show in Excell today.  It was a good opportunity to see what the business market has available and also a chance to network.  We spent a while just walking around stopping and taking to anyone that looked interesting.  I loved the confidence that the wife had in approaching people and Eghele, as always, switched eloquently from business mode when dealing with the franchisors, to ghetto when speaking with us. 

My girl really is crazy I’m still giggling at the way she stopped mid-sentence when talking to us and walked off to look at the ‘fine’ Bajan in the Zumba outfit!  And needless to say when I told her to approach him she jumped at the challenge, and I literally mean jumped.  

Daniel, as usual, had men and women coming up to me to tell me how gorgeous he is.  It’s always easy for me to start a conversation with someone these days because my son draws them in.

All the events of my day published and unpublished have led me to conclude that coming from a good family is about morals not money.  I thank God that despite my wrong doings, I come from a good family who teach me that falling doesn’t have to end on the ground if you use the ground to push you back up. 

Thursday, 23 February 2012



I’ve been told by the mother I’m not allowed to call her grandson Grem anymore in case it sticks :)  When I was a teenager my mother’s advise was merely traffic in the way of me doing what I wanted.  It was annoying, loud and took a long time to get past.  Now when mother speaks I generally listen and often go as far as to ask for her opinion.  Therefore I revert to his chosen name Daniel, who this morning looked rather fetching in his cuddle robe whilst getting ready to visit his cuz.

The two bus journey to my sister’s house is the perfect time to either think or read a book, today I chose to do the former.  Honesty that hurts still hurts less than a lie.  I don’t know if it was the song I’d been playing (same girl, R. Kelly and Usher) or the fact that I’d been reading about relationships but my mind was stuck on how some people seem to have it easy no matter how much rubbish they do.  I can’t claim to be innocent and anyone who can should skip life and go straight to heaven as they obviously have nothing to learn.  I learnt in my teens to be honest because lies and secrets always come back and bite you in the bum!

After all the contemplation I spent the day watching a Bollywood movie with the sis, her sis-in-law and the children.  I love Bollywood movies and wouldn’t mind being the star of a real life soppy Bollywood!  On a low note my Godson decided he could run through walls so I got a message from his mum telling me he was in A&E.  Thankfully he is ok even though the hospital had him waiting for hours because they lost his notes! 

Tuesday, 21 February 2012

Pancake Toss

Pancake Toss

Decided to have a library morning with Grem, my godson Deandre and my best mate Gen aka ‘the wife’.  It ended up being a library afternoon as neither of us had the strength to get up early.  I arrived first, as usual.  I’m sure I spend 1/3 of my life waiting for one friend or another, they call it ‘black people’s time,’ NEWS FLASH, I’m black and I was there on time!  We had a fun though, I read Grem a few stories and sang him some songs then when Deandre arrived they played with the toys whilst I took out books about relationships and adoption (purely for research purposes).

After the library we went to Nandos and the wife treated me to lunch so it was only fair that I treat her to dessert :) 

I’ve decided it’s past time she got a man so I’m on the lookout.  Sometimes others can be better at identifying what’s good for you better than you can.  The wrong man can make you feel like you’re not good enough and you don’t deserve happiness.  Although she can be moody, who isn’t, she might not think she deserves to be happy, but I know she does!  If the Jamaican man that dances in town can show so much joy we must be able to!

Came home and chilled with the children, Daniel’s been practising standing a lot and he even attempted a step.  He’ll be walking in no time God willing.

Connie popped over for a chat, a coffee and a good old giggle.  Then it was time for a quick pancake toss, you can never have enough pancakes!

Monday, 20 February 2012



I left the house early this morning thinking well done me, up and ready just in time for Grem’s morning nap.  As the front door slammed shut I realised I’d forgotten my key, and my purse and my oyster card.  As my mum always says, “You’ve always got that phone in your hand,” and a good thing it was too.  Leaving my door key always reminds me of why I love living on my road.  I always have a neighbour that will get me in somehow.

Usually I blog with just T, Grem and the four walls for company.  This evening I’m at my sister’s it feels good to be surrounded by family; five children in total.  Whilst the children play and my sister potters around the house I’m taking this moment to evaluate my day.  It was one of those days filled with nothing and everything.

My journey through town was the typical journey, I always seem to see someone I know.  It’s funny how you could have spent years being friends with someone only for them to walk past you looking in the other direction as though they’d not seen you.  It’s not that you had a falling out or that you have reason not to say hello, it’s usually that they just don’t know how you’d respond or at least I hope that’s the reason. 

I arrived at my sister’s house in good time and settled down with a cuppa.  My sister and I were joined by another friend we went through numerous topics throughout the day; business, family, TV shows, property and then we did one of my favourite activities; eat cake!  I’m lucky enough to be getting a lift home from my little bro tonight, I’m so grateful to be part of such a loving family.  Anybody who has a good family and doesn’t value them is truly missing out.

Sunday, 19 February 2012

Poop talk

Poop talk

Really shouldn’t have stayed up watching ‘love and other drugs’ last night, I’ve been walking around in a dream state all day.  That didn’t stop me getting up washed and ready to leave the house.  T and I took a walk into Croydon with Daniel aka ‘Grem’ fast asleep in his buggy.  It was nice to walk and I notice how much more conversation we have when we walk rather than take the bus, or rather I notice how much T talks.  I’m a great listener and I love writing but as far as talking goes I only really enjoy taking with purpose or on the other spectrum talking complete poop.

I should have avoided the walk in as I only needed to go to the cashpoint instead I ended up spending too much money!  It’s fine going shopping alone because I usually pick things up and put them back before I reach the till.  I find it really difficult to put things back once I see my children in them.  I’ve decided that my children are just too cute.                                                                                                                                                                                                                              

I've got my beautiful step-daughter for a couple of hours today, and as T has a new wii game I’ll be watching them jump around the front room whilst Grem crawls behind them trying to catch their feet.

When I’m tired I tend to think too much and thinking hurts.  I’m very tempted to book a little trip for Easter; I might have to give someone my credit card to hold on to!

Saturday, 18 February 2012

Fuel door

Fuel door

Yesterday I went to spend time with my big sis and youngest nephew after her hand op, we had a bit of a Whitney sing along sesh and as my nephew was in a cuddly mood I got lots of snuggles.  I then made myself look like a completely helpless woman on the petrol forecourt when I couldn’t open the fuel door on my hire car, glad to say when I asked the guy behind me he couldn’t do it either.  He was cute, could have asked for his number but the fact he couldn’t open the fuel door doesn’t bode well for his usefulness as a potential hubby! It turned out to be a good thing as whist I was figuring it out my other sister pulled up with my nephews and niece so I got to have a quick hug before the drive home and the company of another adult made my fuel door dilemma less embarrassing.

Today one bin bag later and the room is finally tidy… progress!  Another three bin bags and I should have cleared some of the clutter from my kitchen and bathroom too.  It’s amazing how much things you can gather up over the years and there is always a reason not to throw something away.  Came across a useless bit of blue tat whilst clearing up but couldn’t get rid of it because it reminded me of our holiday to Egypt, what a sentimental woman I am.

I got my car back today in working order and they had repaired the bumper, I thought they would just spray the part the van hit but on closer inspection they had done the whole thing, gone was the huge gash on my bumper I had made when driving home from an argument with ‘stickman’s’ brother because of ‘stickman’.   Another reminder of him erased from sight but the important memories never go… the universe works in mysterious ways.

Watching Whitney’s funeral, will do my best not to cry.

Thursday, 16 February 2012



Early this morning I got a text from my friend asking me if I fancied a trip to Godstone farm with her and her family, I’m always up for a trip out and as my princess would be going to visit her friend it would just be me and the little man.  We didn’t pay much attention to the animals at the beginning but I took Daniel out to show him the pigs the perfect opportunity to teach him that pigs say oink (why do we teach children that? Pigs don’t oink they snuffle!).  Daniel’s at that age where looking at things is ok but he’d much rather be pulling, pinching or scratching and meeting the ponies was the perfect opportunity for him to do just that.  It’s a good thing those ponies are used to a bit of prodding or our children would have left with no fingers!  All the pictures of Godstone farm show lovely clean animals… I wonder where all of those were?

We sat and had a picnic lunch whilst the older children played.   The farm has such a lovely playground so if you don’t fancy animals it’s still worth going to give the children a good run around and tire them out for the day!  And there is an indoor play barn but during cold half terms be prepared for a wait!  The little coffee shop was the best part for me, a lovely hot chocolate and a chat. 

After all that fun  we went back to my friends for another cuppa.  Daniel was in baby heaven, her son has more toys than the local play group and because she’s obsessive with cleaning you would have thought they were all bought today.  Hopefully Daniel would have had such a lovely day that he will sleep well tonight.

Wednesday, 15 February 2012

Single Parents

Single parents
I’ve been a single parent for a number of years now and a lot of people think that being a single parent means your life has to stop but that is a complete myth.  You can do as little or as much as you like and still raise your children well.  My relationship with my daughter’s dad broke down, not because we didn’t love each other but just because we didn’t bring out the best in one another.  Sometimes loving someone really does mean letting them go.

I was young when I had my daughter (18) but since having her I’ve still managed to get a good education and good qualifications and experience.  
And in regards to going out with friends and having a laugh, I was lucky enough to have the support of my mum and other family members. 

It’s harder now with two children and my mum not being in the country but I make it work.  I try not to make too many plans as life with children is unpredictable but my main goal is to raise my children to be responsible and happy adults.  Of course if I had to choice between raising my children in a stable loving two parent family and being a single parent I would choose to be in a partnership, but I don't have that choice, so I work hard to make what I do have work for me and my children.

Tuesday, 14 February 2012

Banana monkey

Banana monkey

Last night Zumba with my wifey Genevieve had me buzzing after being in such a bad mood all.  Today I should have had the worst day ever with it being valentine’s day and having to watch men leave the shops with flowers and cards for their girlfriends but this has to have been one of my best valentine’s days ever and not for the gifts but for the people I spent it with.

My day started with taking the children to kids café to meet up with my godson Conner and his family.  Kids café has to be one of the worst places I’ve visited, the toys didn’t work it was far too noisy and all the children were allowed everywhere which meant that the babies were not safe and we had to stay right next to them.  I guess it’s an ok venue for children between 3 and 5 and the decor is ok but it’s small and cramped and I definitely wouldn’t recommend going in half terms nevertheless me and Miche had a nice catch up and it was lovely to watch the children play together.

Next stop was a drive to Sutton, my princess kept me entertained in the car as usual and my little prince fell asleep.  When I parked up I checked my phone and there was a message from Tianna’s dad, it’s surprising what a difference the little things can make, He’s not usually one for mushy stuff but the father of my first born did me proud : )

And then there was my lovely card pressie and blue rose from Channie, I got them yesterday and as she usually does Chantell got my present spot on, a monkey my favourite animal, a rose my favourite flower and in my favourite colour blue! And today it was topped off by the good news that she got a promotion!  Well done baby girl.  One of the things I would tell everyone is show love and be happy for the people around you because love really does come back around in ways you don’t expect.  I love my children and my family and friends they always know how to turn my frowns around : )

Sunday, 12 February 2012

Whitney Who?

Whitney Who?

Yesterday was a day filled with three of the people I love most; my daughter, my son and ‘the lesbo lova’ aka Daniel’s god mother Chantell.  Daniel and T had a bath and played with his new aqua pod courtesy of Chantell.  

We popped into town first to get Daniel’s passport photos which was a laugh with all three of us trying to hold him up in the booth instead of going to get them done at snappy snaps. 

We were taking Dan to his first photo shoot for truly scrumptious modelling agency clever mummy forgot his birth certificate so we had to go back home which lead to us being late and taking a detour which made us even more late but it was fun making up songs in the car.  I wasn’t sure how Daniel would do but it was all smiles as T, Chan and I stood behind the photographer like complete prats making silly faces and calling his name.  After the shoot we all went for a meal then it was cuddles and an early night for me and my babies.

Today I woke up at half one to the news that Whitney Houston had died.  If you grew up in my household, Whitney wasn’t just a pop icon, she wasn’t just an amazing soul diva, she was family.  People go through things in their lives and we are always so quick to judge them as selfish but an addiction is an addiction and no matter how much you love your family and want to be there for them it’s not easy.  We don’t yet know how she died, and frankly who cares, the world has lost another legend R.I.P Whitney.

Friday, 10 February 2012

Cartwheeling Kittens

Cartwheeling Kittens

Being a single parent and being ill really isn’t a good mix.  Despite the fact I felt like kittens were doing cartwheels in my tummy and elephants were blowing water through my eyes and nose, I got Daniel and I ready and off to baby sing we went.  We met a few new mums and babies today which was lovely but it always leads to the same statements/questions, “your baby is gorgeous… he’s mixed isn’t he… where’s his dad from?... Does he look like you or his dad?”  I’m used to it now but it used to annoy me.

Daniel seems to be getting really good at sharing.  He was happily passing toys to the other babies, or at least I like to imagine he was passing the toys to them, rather than trying to hit them.  The sensory room is one of our favourite places and I really wish I had one in my house; in fact I might try to make one, watch this space!  I got talking to one of the mums, Simone; she has lovely eight month old twins, a girl and a boy.  My mum would love them she always wanted twins; instead she was blessed with me and my brothers, sorry mum!! 

You can never look at someone and guess what their life is like; Simone is stunning, well dressed with amazing skin and hair and to top it off beautiful twins.  She was told for years she would never have children so to find out she was pregnant was a shocker and then to find out she would be having twins, wow!  As she put it, “The universe knows what it is doing.”

Daniel has started getting about now so it’s time that I figure out how to make my home baby friendly, any tips are more than welcome.  Let the fun times begin!!

Thursday, 9 February 2012

Jam on toast

Jam on toast

I'm pretty sure that I had on enough layers when I popped out yesterday but despite my efforts I’m feeling really ill this evening  and to top it off Daniel has decided that my face is the best place to explore how his hands work.  I’ve now got a beautiful scratch for all his efforts, thanks son!

It’s funny how the smallest things can remind you of someone…  Whilst spreading the jam on my toast I remembered how ‘stickman’ used to request that I spread his jam right to the edges and if I didn’t do it he’d go back to the kitchen and do it himself, needless to say I would spread it wrong on purpose.  Our relationship lasted longer than some people’s marriages (7yrs), I don’t know how I spent so long with someone who would buy me a gift on Monday and ask me for a loan on Tuesday.  But that’s how it goes sometimes; you live and learn or in my case you live, live, live and learn later :)

Tianna tells me she’s taking control of my love life, which means I’ll never date again!  That’s probably a good thing anyway seen as the most conversation one can get from me now is a hello and a smile followed by a long yawn.  

Wednesday, 8 February 2012



Yesterday one of my sisters and I got together for the first time in ages.  I had been looking forward to it not just because I missed my sister but because I love to watch how our boys (who are a week apart) interact.  Babies are such amazing little creatures, they communicate without recognisable words and their development happens as if by magic.  One day you are holding a little treasure in your arms who does nothing but eat and sleep, the next you are sharing smiles and trying to stop them grabbing wires and pulling hair.

We relaxed at home for a while then went to meet up with another friend for lunch and a little shopping then it was back home for the usual routine of cooking dinners and plating hair.  Tianna decided that she wanted letters in her hair, what a nightmare that was!

Today after having woken up at 5am and watching early morning TV, I did nothing and absolutely loved it, Daniel was in a very cuddly mood and that suited me just fine.  Why is it that the BBC screens all the sensible children’s’ programmes at stupid times in the morning, either they are encouraging our children to wake up at ridiculous times or they only want them to learn how to say ‘ehoh’.  Either way they need to change that!

I was given a hire car today so I’ll be going for a drive just to buy fudge!

Monday, 6 February 2012

Bitter Sweet

Bitter Sweet

I woke up this morning feeling my usual happy but exhausted self.  I played with Daniel and watched a little daytime TV before waking up my computer to check the addresses for my eBay deliveries.

Facebook was my next stop and I was pleasantly greeted by my friend’s status giving us the news that he would be having a baby girl.  My joy for him was so great that it brought me to tears and only those closest to me would understand why.  I had a conversation with him, it was good, the way he spoke and the joy he expressed reminded me of when I found out Tianna was a girl like a breath of fresh air after a exiting a smoke filled room.

I was determined to go into town without spending more than bus fare and the cost to deliver the ebay items.  As I walked through Croydon all I could think was I need to get out of here, either I’m turning into a recluse or I'm just fed up of looking at the same old buildings with the threat of bumping into the same old faces.  Reality is I probably won’t go anywhere any time soon, but one can always live and hope.

I managed to get in and out of the town centre only spending 60p more than I’d plan – a girl needs her chocolate! 

By the time I got home my mood had changed slightly, still happy but I keep going back into contemplation mode... I think I would have been ok if he hadn’t said her name… I still find it hard to say her name.  

Can’t wait for my princess to get home for cuddles, her cuddles always make me feel better.

Sunday, 5 February 2012

Baby Snooze

Baby Snooze

I woke up this morning thinking the world would be a much happier place if babies had snooze buttons.  There is nothing worse than a grumpy mother, except maybe a hungry tiger, they will both bite your head off but the tiger won’t do it metaphorically.

After a cup of coffee and some morning cuddles it seemed only right that we go outside and christen the snow blanket. 

Daniel’s all-in-one coat was ‘snug’ shall we say but on it went and out we went.

 Neither Tianna nor I had bothered to put on gloves so our hands were freezing and our snowman would register at number 2 on the worst snow men ever charts barely losing the first place spot to a pile of untouched snow.

We lasted five minutes in the snow much to Daniels pleasure.  You could see the joy on his face when I took off his coat and he could breathe again.

After warming up under a blanket we had a visit from one of Daniel’s god mummies, poor her, She had to endure watched me and Tianna up to our usual antics singing songs about chicken balls and dancing to, dare I say it… SPICE GIRLS. 

Bless her she’s camera shy!

Over all a really chilled out day in the Houston-Haffy household. 

Saturday, 4 February 2012

Plastic Bags

Plastic Bags

Well Tianna’s assembly went well so my cup of tea came, and not only that but today was one of those days that I love having a ‘big girl’.  She woke up and took Daniel downstairs leaving me to enjoy my bed to myself, a whole hour of bliss and I didn’t even have to ask!  I didn’t sleep of course, I mean, who can sleep in the day time?  I’m not a vampire, though if Edward Cullen had joined me you never know what might have happened!

I lay in bed and devised a plan for the day; get up, freshen up, clean the house then pop into town but somewhere between leaving the bed and reaching the living room I had decided that plan was not going to happen.  Good thing the little bro called, I gave him the shopping list and over he came with the shopping and extra bonus I didn’t have to pay for it!  Got to love brothers right?

I did manage to get the living room and kitchen into a somewhat habitable state and T and I where messing around putting on accents whilst I cleaned, but a clean kitchen always gives me the itch to bake.  So today on the recommendations of my mad friend, ‘She who shall not be named,’ I baked a Victoria Sponge, everything that could go wrong went wrong but the end result was still yum!

Tianna’s Dad decided to call my phone today and after our usual banter he said something sweet which reminded me that he had been in my dream last night.  The first bit of the dream was normal, we were having our usual humour filled conversations but I got confused when he started handing me plastic bags???

I googled dream meanings for plastic bags and apparently it means temporary burdens or responsibilities – now that makes perfect sense!

And now there is snow, a beautiful end to a beautiful day and Daniel get's to see his first snowfall:)

Friday, 3 February 2012

Daddy Cool

Daddy Cool

This morning whilst sitting and watching Daniel playing the need for adult conversation prompted me to check the time of Baby Peeps at the Areodrome children’s centre… 10am and it was already 9.58.  I rushed to grab Daniels coat and hat and I don’t think I’ve ever flung on a pair of jeans as fast.  I got there in time for the usual sing song introductions.

“Hello Daniel, hello Daniel, hello Daniel and how are you today?” 

In my head I’m saying, "Why are you asking him he can’t speak?!"  But out loud I smile and say 

“Daniel’s fine, he’s been a bit grumpy because of his eczema but other than that he’s good.”  

We sang a few songs which is my favourite part and judging by the smile on Daniels face it’s one of his favourite parts too.

With the songs over it was time to talk to the parents usually it’s all mums but today there was a Dad.  It always makes me smile when I see a dad with his child, especially in a female dominated environment because it must be pretty intimidating for him.  Anyway seen as he was a primary school teacher we had common ground so we got chatting and I found out that him and his wife had both taken 6 months off work to look after their son for the first year of his life.  Mum had done the first 6 months now it was daddy’s turn.  Listening to all the activities he does with his son put’s me to shame!

Unfortunately for Daniel he’ll have to make do with the once a week singing, daily play with mummy and Tianna, the occasional socialising with friends and family and of course all the places Tianna decides to drag us!  The Britain’s got talent audition was great but I dare her to try getting me to queue for 5 hours in the cold again!

With any luck T’s class assembly will have gone well and I won’t have a stroppy pre-teen sulking because I dare to ask for a cup of tea :)

Thursday, 2 February 2012

A Cuddle and a Quickie

Ok... so post number two and I’m still not any closer to coming up with ideas of what to write about, but who cares at least some of my thoughts can come out instead of swimming around my head aggravating me!   

After finding out that my son’s dad was not going to be around I decided it was time I took a new vow of celibacy.  I can proudly say it’s been just over a year and I’m still on my best behaviour, ‘Waiting for Mr Right,’ as some might put it.
I'm not going to bitch about men because I know there are some really good ones out there and who am I to whine? I have two lovely children who make me smile at least once a day :)

The best cuddles I get are from my two lovely children and as far as a quickie goes that’s my new term for when my son decides he’ll have a two minute feed instead of half hour!  I’m getting a bit fed up of the pulling my boobs out in public but trying to get this beauty on a bottle is like trying to make synthetic diamonds in the microwave (google it, people have actually tried), time consuming and not worth the effort, as they say ‘Breast is Best!

Wednesday, 1 February 2012

Get over yourself it’s just a story!

My first Post and the only thing I can think of is a somewhat catchy title.  It doesn’t really bode well that my mind is a total blank in the creative department.  Ask me to name my problems and I could give you a long list, but like many of the nation I’m on a positive thinking drive so I won’t.

 I actually believe your thoughts can become things.  Last year I wrote in my ‘imagine if’ book “Imagine if we were on a plane to spend 3 weeks in the caribbean.” I closed the book and forgot all about it…
that is until through no effort on my part, except for some positive energy sent out to the universe, I was given the money to pay for 3 flights to the Caribbean!  And I’ve got 4 weeks for the price of thinking 3! 

This year I’ve got a whole new list of imagine ifs. 
Acting on the imagine, believe, receive principle found in books like, ‘The Secret’ and ‘The Power’ (Rhonda Byrne) I’m going to make the best life possible for me and my mini me’s.