Friday, 28 December 2012

'Women - Know Your Worth'

Yesterday evening my friends and I held our first 'Women - Know Your Worth' meet up, it took place in my home and we decided on having a small group to test the waters and make sure that the evening was beneficial to all parties involved.  

When it comes to relationships and self-esteem these are sensitive topics and we wanted to make sure that everyone in attendance felt comfortable enough to share.  The evening was about knowing who you are as a woman and making positive choices in life, love and business.  EVERYBODY makes mistakes but it is how we recover from those mistakes that makes us who we are.

I have taken two short extracts from the evening to share with my readers.  I hope you enjoy.

Wednesday, 26 December 2012

Seasons Greetings

Lots of preparation goes into Christmas...

1. There's the shopping.

2. Putting up the tree.

3. Keeping the gifts secret.

4. Preparing a family meal to feed 5000 when there will only be 10 of you.

5. Making sure Skype is set up to speak to mum.

6. And having family fun.

I luckily got to skip part 4 as I went to spend the day with my best friend and her family.  I've spent a lot of Christmas's with them, and this year was by far the best I've spent with them.  Not because of the gifts, though I did receive some beautiful presents, but because the adults were relaxed and the children were having fun.

So as the Gregorian calender year comes towards it's end I have a lot to be thankful for.

I hope all of my readers, my family and friends have enjoyed this festive period and I look forward to sharing with you throughout 2013 x

Monday, 17 December 2012

Too Much Technology

I sold my car my earlier in the year at the time it seemed like a great idea, Daniel hated being in the car seat and would scream the entire length of any journey.  Not only that but the weather was good and walking was  my main way of shifting the baby fat not to mention the fact that I needed the money to pay for my holiday.  Now that it's cold I'm slightly regretting it.  I hate having to put on so many layers and leave my nice warm house to venture into the cold and wait on buses, hence I've not been out much.  

I did however promise my friend that I would come to visit her church and go back to hers for lunch, so on yesterday that's exactly what I did.  When I left the house and got to the bus stop 29 minutes was the length of time before a bus was due and there was no way I was waiting that long.  I walked down the hill and despite the cold I must say it was a nice refreshing walk, and at 8am having only had 4 hours sleep, I needed refreshing!  

After the service was done we went back to hers with another friend of hers and her friends three children.  I always enjoy spending time at this particular friends house, though I don't go often enough.  You see she doesn't have a television which forces people to have to have that unusual thing called a 'conversation'.  A lot of people don't converse enough, especially children.  At one point she suggested we play charades and I was shocked to discover that her friends children had never heard of it.  At the risk of sounding very old, when I was a child we played games like that all the time and even now at Christmas, or other times when friends and family are gathered around, we enjoy playing games like that.  It is such a shame that television and other technology like phones and computers have limited the activities that families do together.  It also limits the amount of time we spend reading, writing and developing our imaginative, creative and communicative skills.

My best friend recently started a games night with her two boys to deter them from playing computer games all the time and to spend quality time together.  As I already spend a lot of time reading and playing games with Daniel, I'm now going try and dedicate time to play 'old school' games with my daughter or at least spend more time talking in between homework and bedtime.

Monday, 10 December 2012

Whipsnade Zoo

I absolutely love wild animals so when I received complementary family days out tickets to visit Whipsnade Zoo I couldn't wait.  I made arrangements to travel there by train, and my sister and nephews agreed to come with us.  We planned to get to the zoo for the 10am opening time.

The train journey from Croydon to Luton was straightforward but on arrival at Luton station we had to struggle up the stairs from the platform with the pushchairs as there is no lift to and from the platforms.  The bus to Whipsnade runs every 2 hours so we considered getting a cab from the cab station located right outside.  On average the journey would cost £16 but because there was 7 of us (including the babies) and they had no 7 seater cabs we would have had to get two cabs.  We decided instead to get the x31 to Dunstable and continue by cab from there.  

The bus journey cost £2.00 per adult and £1.20 per child and the 7 seater from Dunstable cost £10.  On the way home we ended up getting a cab from Whipsnade to Luton at a cost of £20 due to waiting at the bus stop in the cold for 40 minutes despite arriving at the stop 10 minutes before the bus was due.  With buses coming every 2 hours it wasn't worth risking a two hour wait with the babies.

Freezing cold but having fun at the bus stop

The Attraction
There is a map provided with the entry cost (£18 adult 14.50 children and £16.50 consession you can also get a 10% online family ticket discount).   The map also provides information about the daily animal shows and talks, unfortunately we didn’t get to see any of those due to the zoo being so big that finding and getting from one place to another is a difficult process... women and maps!

One of the benefits of going buy car is that you can pay a fee to drive your car around the zoo and hop in and out to look at the animals.  Unfortunately for those on foot that does mean that you have to keep children at very close range because there aren't many decent footpaths and on busy days this could be dangerous.   There is a train and bus run by the zoo to travel around but they were not in service whilst we were there.

Lots of animals freely roam the zoo and the first we came across were peafowl and Mara.  The children (and us adults if i’m honest) were very excited at being able to get so close to these strange and beautiful animals. 

We were able to watch Sea-lions swim underwater and a solitary tiger from above its enclosure, then visit it’s mate who was sectioned off and looking very sorry for itself.  

Up close with a Tiger

The animal enclosures were well labeled and provide fun and interesting ways of teaching children about the animals. 

Couldn't help but giggle at this Jeremy Kyle style sub-heading

My favourite animals are usually the Monkeys or Gorillas but at Whipsnade I found myself drawn to the cutest family of Cheetahs, not only did they look amazing and happy (if animals can look happy) but next to the enclosure was a sort of race board where the children could test their speed against that of a cheetahs.  We all had a go at this and the youngest boys of our group found us bashing into the padded wall hilarious.

The Lions were either in hiding or had been put away as we were rather disappointed when we could not see them in their enclosure, we did however get to spin a wheel to see if we would bring home dinner and ‘pose with our pride.’ 

The giraffe walkway was also closed but you could see the Giraffe through a window and these very inquisitive Giraffe came right up to the glass as if coming to say hello.  

Among the other animals we saw were Rhinos, Gorillas, Sloth Bears, Camel, Meerkats, Flamingo, Moose, Reindeer (very appropriate for this season) and a solitary Zebra to name a few and although there were a lot of animals there also seemed to be a lot of unused space.

There are two main play areas one indoor and one outdoor that look great but with closing time at 4 and a lot of walking around to do to get to see the animals, stopping to play was not really an option this time around.  The children did however enjoy running around the beautiful scenery and the sights inspired my nephew to serenade us with his beautiful rendition of 'In The Jungle.'

Having my nephews with us meant that eating was top of the list of things to do.  We choose to eat at the Wild Bite Cafe, we had brought a packed lunch with us but because the weather was cold we purchased two good sized bowls of chips to eat with our packed lunch and my sister and I had a hot chocolate each which came up to £10.  The restaurant was clean and the variety of food was good for those who eat a normal diet.  If you are vegetarian or eat only halal or Kosher meat I recommend bringing your own food.

The gift shop has a huge variety of animal related gifts as well as non animal related snacks, drinks, ice cream and sweets and all at reasonable prices so you can buy the children a momento without breaking the bank.

In short I would have to visit Whipsnade again (please feel free to send me tickets and travel fare) but in the summer in order to get a full picture of the zoos ups and downs.  From my experience I recommend you make full use of the zoos brilliant website to thoroughly plan your day and make the most of all that it has to offer.

Gorillas with their Christmas cracker surprises

Friday, 30 November 2012

3 in a Tub

After a long day running up and down after Daniel, cleaning my home and preparing the evening meal, there is nothing I enjoy more than a hot shower.  I've never really been one for baths but on the odd occasion when I decide to have one and bring Daniel in with me you can count on one hand the number of minutes before the pre-teen has stripped off and jumped in with us.  After listening to James O'Brien on LBC broach the topic of children's innocence being destroyed through the teaching of sex education in primary school it got me thinking when is a child too old to bath with their mother and does the sex of the child matter?

The pre-teen learned about sex from a very young age.  I had no doubt in my mind that I would be the one to teach her as soon as she started asking questions.  My mum had taken a stand-offish approach to teaching me about sex.  I was an avid reader so my mum provided me with a book entitled 'How We Grow Up' at the time I found it interesting and informative. When I had my own child I knew that I wanted her to learn all the goods and bads of sex and the feelings associated with them.

On a bus ride home from school at the tender age of 6 she began to talk about sex, her exact words were, "Mummy I know what sex is."  I was a little shocked at first and nervously giggled whilst strangers looked on at my pretty little 6 year old talking about sex.  I proceeded to ask her how she knows that and what she thinks it is.  She informed me that two older children in the playground were discussing sex and that it was, "When a man gets on top of a woman and goes uh uh uh."  My nervous giggle then turned into fits of laughter which the princess did not at all find amusing.  

I took the opportunity that day to explain to my daughter that heterosexual sex (I wasn't about to teach my six year old daughter about homosexual acts) happened in a loving relationship between two adults and explained to her using the correct names for the sexual organs what happens and one of the purposes of sex (to have babies.)  My then six year old looked at me in disgust and said, "That means you and daddy, yuk, lets never talk about that again."  That of course was the first of many discussions about sex and as the years followed my explanations were extended with details homosexuality, miscarriage, abortion, sexually transmitted diseases, contraception and hereditary illness such as sickle cell.  Some may think that I have risked destroying my daughters innocence but I feel that I have prepared her for life as a sexual active adult which one day in the really distant future she will be.

Besides what 12 year old who doesn't still have a sense of innocence would want to jump in the bath with their mother and brother, I certainly wouldn't have even though my mother still torments me by insisting on walking around the house half dressed no matter who is there.  

When I asked the pre-teen when she thinks a child is too old to bath with their mother after her initial response of "If you don't want me in the bath then just say so" and me explaining to her the reason behind my question she then said, "When they have big boobs."  She would not want to bath with her father and neither he nor I would approve of that and I'm certain that I wouldn't want Daniel bathing with me at the age of 12.

I'm sure there are lots of opinions on this and I would love to hear them!  When did you teach your children about the birds and the bees?  And what determines when a child is too old to bathe with their parent? 

Tuesday, 27 November 2012

Safe Journey

Tomorrow my mum will hop on the plane and be off home to the beautiful Barbados.  Though I'm happy for her I can't help but feel sad for myself.  Mothers are always so vital and though not everyone has one, I'm blessed to have one who is supportive and helpful despite her issues.  

So now that she's off again, who is going to stay up with me and play scrabble when the kids have gone to bed?  Who's going to give me a break from cooking the evening meal or hoovering the living room and moping the floors?  Who's going to babysit so I can have a night or day out with the girls?  Who's going to encourage me to shop in Lidl rather than Sainsbury's? Who is going to smile with me when Daniel says a new word or new sentence and attribute it to their teaching power?  Who is going to back me up when I have to get the pre-teen princess to do things? And who is going to drive me bonkers with there constant moaning and need for reassurance? 

On second thoughts I'm sure my best mate Gen will be happy to provide the moaning!

Safe Journey Mum, love you lots xxx

Thursday, 22 November 2012

Now or Never!

When you are loving parents your children mean the world to you so anything that poses a challenge to their well being is always a concern.  

As adults the majority of us desire someone to share our lives with and when you are a single mother meeting that 'special someone,' is never easy so deciding when it's the right time to introduce them to your child/ren is almost impossible.  To read my guest article on when is the right time to introduce a new partner go over to Wriggly Rascals, you could also share your experiences by filling in their survey and helping other single mums... See You there x

Monday, 19 November 2012

Love and loss

Last night as the children went to sleep and I listened to some chill out music and started to evaluate some elements of my life.  I thought about how long it took me to get to know myself and how I’m still getting to know myself.  It may sound strange that at 31 and still getting to know who I am but I've always been one of those people who looks at themselves through another’s eyes. 

As a child I valued myself by what my parents thought of me, especially my dad.  My dad never really spoke much about feelings so it was more my perception of how he felt about me.  I knew my mum would be proud of me no matter what, but with my dad it was different.  I knew he liked sport so I threw myself into Physical Education and I was good, I often placed well in athletics and ran for my school in local competitions and for a while this made my dad proud.  That was until I met up with a local football player and although I wasn't interested in him at first, his skill on the pitch and his friendly nature managed to win my heart and that caused me not to try so hard to make my dad proud.  It then became about pleasing my guy.

I lost myself in that relationship and that guy became my world, and I his.  I fell pregnant and although my dad and I lived in the same home he stopped speaking to me, I was crushed.  In my dad’s eyes because I had gotten pregnant I would never get any qualifications and would therefore be a failure.  I can never look down on those ’16 and pregnant’ girls because I've been there.  I spent hours in labor and Campbell as I called my then boyfriend was there with me every second, he even fulfilled my drug endorsed request for him to MC (rap) for me.  I gave birth to our baby girl too soon, she left us at 21 weeks and 3 days gestation.  

She was a perfectly formed tiny beauty and we felt that automatic love despite knowing she would never leave the hospital.  We were both young; we received no counselling, no advice, no help, all we were left with were pictures, pain and depression and each other.  Though neither of us knew it at the time our inability to cope with our loss would eventually lead to the end of our romantic relationship, though we still remain friends to this day.  

My dad did start talking to me again but he had lost faith in me.

After that relationship I became a serial monogamist and had two beautiful children but I was only ever single for a maximum of a few months.  That was until now.  I've spent two years getting to know the me that doesn't look at herself through the eyes of someone else but evaluates her strengths and weaknesses through her own eyes.  I still value other people’s opinion of me but I have learnt to value my opinion of me above all else... I think you call it self worth.  One of the things I most value about myself is that I may not always get things right but I take responsibility for my actions and try hard to improve where I've gone wrong.  I try to stay positive even in hard times when depression threatens to take over, and if nothing else I’m a good mother who tries to put my children first.

Saying goodbye hold services for remembering those babies that were lost, no matter how short their lives.

Wednesday, 14 November 2012

Kissy, Kissy, Kissy

I don't know how this happened but it seems that Daniel has entered the terrible twos way ahead of schedule.  He has a mini tantrum any time he doesn't get his own way, if he brings you a book and you ask him to wait a minute he throws the book on the ground (or at you) and starts crying.  He has also gotten into the delightful habit of running away as soon as you ask to change his nappy.  And my oh so clever son seems to enjoy inflicting pain on himself, headbutting the table seems to be a favourite... what normal child does that?  Not only that but I am a complete failure when it comes to getting him to eat anything.  

We have gone through so many food phases, from not eating anything, then avoiding certain textures, then eating everything until now we are back at not eating anything except rice.  I've tried good nutritious home cooked meals whole, blended, boiled, mashed, baby food in packets, oven food but to no avail.  

I know it's my own fault for breast feeding so long but I'm finding it difficult to get him off.  He does drink a little cows milk but whenever he is tired or upset he wants breast and if he doesn't get it he cries and screams cause he knows mummy is a pushover and hates to see him upset.  If crying and screaming doesn't work he then resorts to slapping or headbutting!  

He goes from 11pm until 6am without it and was sleeping through until recently.  He has started waking up at three in the morning asking for a feed and although he goes back to sleep without it the break in my sleep is totally frustrating.  I know I can't be the only one with this problem.  I know the solution is probably just to stand my ground but who can say no to this face?

On a positive note he is soooo clever he can now 'read' (by read I mean recognise the pictures) most of the words in his first words books and even the ones he doesn't know if you say them first he can repeat them with brilliant clarity.  He has ways of getting you to understand exactly what he wants for example if he wants you to read Calm Down Boris by Sam Lloyd (lovely book) he says kissy kissy kissy.  He walks around the house with a broom or cloth and tells you he's cleaning and he even likes to put the teabag and sugar into a cup to make mummy 'cuptea' as he calls it.  He loves music and will dance to anything!

Although he can be a little gremlin he is also an absolute joy.

Wednesday, 7 November 2012

Smoking Cars and Pebble Beaches

This is my 100th post and as such I have to make it a good one.  Now there are many ways I could do that; I could tell you all my biggest secret, I could launch a prize giveaway or I could post a picture of me totally nude (don't worry I wouldn't want to give anyone nightmares!)  but what I've decided to do is be extremely selfish and tell you all about my first car to try and win an iphone from Carcraft though I'd much rather be trying to win a car!  So here goes! 

My first car was a Vauxhall Astra but not the nicely shaped fancy type with power steering no I had passed my driving test and waited ages to get this...

Well not this actual car I couldn't find a picture of old bob, as I had chosen to name him which was the shortened version of Bobby, a boy who I had a crush on as a child.  Bob was green and a bit bashed all over but he was cheap, a bargain at just £250.

I had many an adventure in this little car. I was a practicing christian when I brought him so the fact that his licence was ****DGO (anagram for GOD or DOG as my mother so kindly pointed out) was a sign that I was meant to have him.  

I was a spur of the moment type of person back then and I woke up one morning and decided that I would take bob on the motorway.  It was my first time doing motorway driving and I was very nervous, especially as I had precious cargo in the back in the form of my daughter.  I packed my best male friend in the passenger seat (who better to drive with than an arrogant man on your first motorway journey) and off we went to Brighton.

Before we even got on the motorway Bob decided to have a fag break a bit like this but thankfully without the flames

FAIL, drivers ed 101 I had forgotten to do all the necessary checks and Bob had run dry, luckily for us Bob was a fighter and when we pulled into the petrol station gave him a break, a quick drink of water and some air, he was ready to roll and we arrived at the beach in record time.  

We had a brilliant day and thanks to Bob got there and back safely.  You never forget your first Bob :)

And though I'd much rather win than let anyone else win I suppose I'd better tell you that you could win yourself a iphone 5 by heading over to carcraft and writing your own first car post, good luck!

Thursday, 1 November 2012

Sauntering, swagger and a tantrum

My 8 year old godson says to me today, Aunty when I came to the door I was thinking of sauntering into the room.  If you know my godson you will know that sauntering into the room is the last thing he was going to do.  He has calmed down a lot since he was younger but sauntering is still not a word I would associate with him.  When asked what sauntering means his response was, "Walking somewhere but you have to do something and it's like you have a swagger."  Goodness knows what they are teaching in his school!  You can't help but love this little man, he is always full of complements for the ladies and generally does as he is asked.

I don't understand how some parents don't recognise how special their children are.  Some start off so well with all the right intentions towards their child and partner but when the relationship with the partner breaks down the children become a thing of their past rather than a consistent part of their future.  I don't blame the men all the time though sometimes women are completely to blame for the fragmented relationships that their children have with their fathers.  Some women have the tendency to try to punish the fathers for leaving them when the fact remains they left them and not their children.

Saying that some men are complete and utter assholes and some children are lucky not to have them in their lives.  My godson used to get upset that he doesn't see his dad often but now he's so used to it that when his mum asks him if he wants her to ask his dad to come and watch his school plays etc, he replies, "Don't worry he won't turn up anyway."

And below is what he has to put up with instead...

Thursday, 25 October 2012

My Little Vampire

I'm feeling a great deal better today and the fact that Daniel has gone a week without breast feeding has a lot to do with it.  I've had a cold for what seems like forever and that teamed with a lack of sleep had me in really bad spirits.  Breast feeding is great but when it comes to getting the baby off the breast that's another story.  Though I don't want anymore children, I know that if given the chance to start with Daniel from the beginning, I would do combination feeding so he would at least take a bottle if offered.  That said despite him sucking away my energy I think it does help with the bonding process.

The past week has been somewhat uneventful.  I received the cutest little vampire costume in the post for Daniel to wear to his friends party unfortunately I have double booked so he wont be going.  It's probably a good thing as I don't do the whole Halloween thing but with her being one of Daniel's Godparents and one of my closest friends I intended to pop in.  I decided that Daniel should at least get one wear out of his costume so I put it on him.  It was as though when the cape was fastened he turned into a vampire, he started dramatically running around the house laughing and screaming.  I managed to get a picture before he eventually took off.

Friday, 19 October 2012

I am by no means a Gemini but...

At the moment I feel like two different people.  The first is happy and inspired by life, loving motherhood and looking forward to new challenges.  She has a friend who is ready to 'proclaim, protect and provide' (according to Steve Harvey that's how we know when a man loves a woman) and she is working on projects that make her smile.  Love radiates from her spirit and she wants to experience all that life has to offer.

The other person, the pessimist, she is afraid of her own abilities.  She is worried that she can't give her children what they need physically or emotionally.  She runs away from an open door and closes herself in a windowless room.  She doesn't want to be offered love because so often in her life it's followed by pain and although she denies it, even sometimes to herself, she has feelings of hate.

I spent a little time looking through some of the poetry I wrote in university today and thought I would share one a poem.  I suppose this poem reflected the way I felt at a given point of time and I feel it express some of my moments even now.


I'm lonely,
people, many people
pass through me.
I'm left unacknowledged,
They touch me,
push me, pull me;
poking metal objects
into me.
No hint of affection
no love, no living?
It's only wooden breaths I take.
I'm thick,
no whispers through me.
I hear them talk beyond me,
far from me.
I'm ten, or so my numbers say.
You leave me,
then wonder why,
why I fall off my hinges.
Don't open and close me,
hold me.
You want me.
You need me.
Your cold-blocker,
open flap for letter-dropper.
Talk to me.
I'm lonely.

Gailann Houston

Monday, 15 October 2012

Happy 21st (plus 10!)

Friday was my 31st birthday and rather than go out and party I decided this year would be a year to relax and do grown up stuff.  The actual day started off with the usual pleasantries of calls and messages and a birthday kiss from my princess before she went off to school then it was off to meet mum in town for a bit of shopping and a nice lunch.  In the evening one of my best friends (Chantell) came over with gifts which included a beautiful set of hand decorated candles, she is so creative and it is personal gifts like that which I will be special forever.  We then went for cocktails (just the two of us) which was a lovely end to my evening and a bit of well needed me time.

The real treat was to be the next day when I would get the chance to run away for the day with my other two best friends (Eghele and Genevieve).  Eghele's birthday is the day after mine so we always try to do something together and this year we decided to go to Bath.  I woke up early in the morning got ready and kissed my babies goodbye and left them in the capable hands of my mother.  It was 6.45 when I got to first the station and met up with Gen and we were both so tired that when the train reached our stop we didn't realise until it was ready to leave the station, thank God for Gen's big butt holding the door open, how I love her arse!  We got on the train to Bath with Eghele and didn't even notice the time slip by as we conversed for the whole journey (so much for the book I had packed).

When we arrived we made a quick pit stop then it was off to the Thermae Bath Spa, Eghele had booked me a full body massage and we were given until 6pm to spend in the spa.  It was such a wonderful and relaxing place... apart from the poo on the toilet floor (I will spare you the details!)  The sauna's were heavenly and the view from the roof top pool was amazing.  We left at around two and went for a late lunch before heading round the corner to the Roman Baths, which was also a lovely cultural experience.

We unfortunately missed the Jane Austin museum so we went and got our nails done and at least we have a great excuse to go back.  The last treat was champagne and dinner at which we chatted up the waiter and came away with his phone number.  Then it was back on the train home a couple more glasses of wine for the journey and the end of a wonderful day.  It may not be everyone's cup of tea but for me it was one of the best birthdays ever.

Wednesday, 10 October 2012

Grrrrrrrr! Mothers!

I really love my mum as some of you may have guessed from my happy birthday post but for the last couple of days she has been doing things to purposely annoy me (at least I think she's doing it on purpose).  I know she wants to go back to Barbados without feeling guilty but she really doesn't have to make me push her out the door.  Some mothers (myself included) have the tendency to 'forget' our children's capabilities, for example, I've made lasagna for my family hundreds of times yet my mum still questions me while I'm making it grrrrrrrr.  Not only that but she makes the point of complaining when she has to do something around the house.  Anyone who knows my mum will know that she's not happy unless she's doing something so it's impossible to get a balance.  If you leave her with nothing to do she complains, if you leave her with something to do she complains.  God give me strength!

On another note my best friend and I have started discussing current events and recording our discussions, the aim is to start a local women's group where women meet to talk about anything and everything.  When we have a video that is not accompanied by a soundtrack of screaming children I will post it for your viewing pleasure.

Friday, 5 October 2012

Sibling Rivalry

Having more than one child is always a challenge, as you plan how you will deal with sibling rivalry and managing your time and resources so that neither feels left out.  You're full of questions like how will I get them to share?  Will I sleep them in the same room or separately?  Which playgroups can you attend with both children?  But for me it was a little different.  There are 11 years between my first and second child.  I had planned to be in a loving and stable relationship before adding to my family, hence the long wait, but God had other plans that didn't involve anything stable.  

Therefore here I am with a pre-teen who has me on tenterhooks waiting for when her hormones will turn her into a raving lunatic (secretly hoping we will skip that stage) and a toddler who is wise beyond his years and extremely demanding.  I did everything possible to include the pre-teen in my pregnancy and planning for his arrival so the first year went by with hardly any problems.

My lovely Prince however is now at the stage where he thinks he owns me and is both vocal and physical in his demonstration of this (pushing his sister and telling her to go away) and the princess despite all my efforts is feeling a little left out... and astonishingly not by me but by him!  A few nights ago just before bed she said "mum Daniel doesn't like me" to which I replied, "don't be silly he loves you"   she then responded by saying "yes I know he loves me but that doesn't mean he likes me, he never wants to come to me anymore, he only uses me when you are not here and he's always pushing me away."  I must admit that though I'm usually pretty quick at responding to my ever so quizzical pre-teen this one took me a little longer to think about but I came up with an explanation of sorts that I think she understood.

I need not have worried too much because as though Daniel had been listening to our conversation and had taken in his sisters words in his sleep the very next day when he heard the door opening on her return from school he ran into her arms shouting 'tee tee' (her name is Tianna).  The smile on her face was priceless,  at least now I think she knows her brother likes her.  We both have our fingers crossed that this stage of pushing her away from mummy ends very quickly and his excitement at playing with her and his toys (you'd think I bought them as extra bits of furniture to sit and look pretty the amount of attention he pays to them) returns.

It would be interesting to know some of the sibling issues others have had and how you have gone about solving them...

Monday, 1 October 2012

Don't Skype Me!

I have a friend overseas (Barbados), we've been friends for a long time, he's cool to talk to and he makes me smile but sometimes he is really annoying.  He wants us to be more than just friends but I'm not ready for the relationship thing (celibacy suits me).  My girlfriend believes that it's because I'm used to talking to guys who do as they are told and he is completely the opposite.  For example he told me he wanted to purchase an ipad, now apart from it being a expensive and unnecessary toy there is nothing wrong with that but his only reason for buying the ipad... to be able to talk to me and see me on Skype 'for free.'  

I hate talking on Skype (except to my mum or best friend) for these reasons.

1.  If you call me and I'm in the position to talk but don't want to be seen this causes friction.  You want to know why and the truth is I may just be in a bad mood.
2. I come on Skype then you comment on the fact that I've not done my hair or I'm wearing jogging bottoms for the third time this week... I'm a mum I don't glam up to run around after my children, cook and clean.
3.  You can see who I'm with and what I'm doing, not that I have anything to hide but when me and my friends or just me and my children are relaxing we don't want someone up in our faces.
4. Because you know I have Skype on my phone does not mean I want to use it EVERYWHERE!

Did he listen NO!  And aside from it being annoying it's certainly not free, he had to pay for the ipad and now he has to pay for internet connection that he didn't have before.  Not only that, I can now see his reaction to certain things and lets just say I don't deal well with jealousy.

But perhaps I'm just being silly? 

Saturday, 29 September 2012

Ride The Pony

Today I've decided is the day I jump back on the metaphorical saddle and ride the writing pony. 

Since my mum has been in the country I've been let out of the house a few times without my little handbag (also known as Daniel) and as nice as it's been to have nights out with the girls and a bit of me time, I have to admit that I'm happiest when I'm home with my children.  I do however have a day date booked with my two best friends for my birthday (October 12th) which will not involve the children and will hopefully involve lots of relaxation and lots of non-alcohol induced crazy fun.

Me and My two best friends 2011

I'm still not getting much sleep and I can't even blame Daniel because even when my mum takes him downstairs so that I can sleep all I can manage is to lay with my eyes closed for a few minutes and over think my whole life!  It turns out that when you have unresolved problems your brain doesn't allow you to sleep.  If anyone has any tips on how to switch off I'd be happy to hear them.

Anyway as this is my first post back after my break I'm going to keep it short and sweet until I get back into the swing of things.

Tuesday, 11 September 2012


I've started to write at least four different posts on different topics but every time I've deleted them.  They have either been too personal (even a blogger doesn't share everything,) or they have been too mundane.  Unless I have a review that's too good to refuse or something amazing happens I'm going to give myself a blog break.

Bye for now x

Tuesday, 4 September 2012

Dirty Dancing and Stuff

It has been a while since I've written anything and not due to lack of motivation but lack of time.  After having a few days rest from my holiday I've made it a point to get out of the house as much as possible and if I couldn't get out I've had friends here to keep me busy.

I went to carnival this year and am slightly ashamed to say that the type of dancing I was doing was the stuff I frown at in music videos.  Hopefully I wasn't caught on camera!  I went expecting it to be packed and boring but truth be told, although it was packed, I had a really good time.  We managed to find somewhere with just enough people to dance and have enjoy without feeling like tinned sardines and saw a couple of faces that I haven't seen in a long time.  The only down side was how long it took to get on a train home.

On another note I've been celibate for 21 months now, go me!  I've been on a couple of dates and made a lovely new friend but I'm not ready to commit to anyone which means no nookie for me.  I'm actually starting to rethink the celibacy thing... to jump or not to jump!